Modern art no more

Although my head is swirling like I’ve just been on a roller coaster about twenty times because of the sleep-deprivation and headache I have, I am very happy… almost like I’ve had some kind of super-happy pill if those exist. I know they have anti-depressant pills, but do they have super happy pills? They have laughing gas. I guess that counts.

I’m way off track. Ok, so I’m not happy-happy as though I’m doing drugs, but I am very happy because I finally have what it takes to make my life into a metaphorically functional rocket. I finally have the blueprints that will raise me up. And it will, because I have determination, and I believe that determination is part of those blueprints. See, the lines on the paper won’t be a rocket without the determination and the willpower to take a step and start shaping the metal.

Yeah, I know it takes a long time to shape it right, and to make that rocket ship… Anything worth while, for instance like friendships and paintings, take a long time. Some painters (some modern artists) don’t take time, effort or thought.

I usually I just cock my head at those paintings and go “um… gee… I don’t think I CARE what that artist was thinking.” And “wow… Someone actually BOUGHT that?”

When I have kids, I am sure I’ll be saying “Look, my kid could do that! In fact let's sell it and make millions! ” But I don’t have any kids yet, so I’m just going to be content saying “I could have done that when I was one. ...grumble....grumble..."

It’s rather disgraceful to the human intellect to be calling it art. If they want to call it art, and disgrace the word, then at least let us distinguish between the two with a different word for what I esteem as art:

Um…



Once again, I’m WAY off track. Can someone say “Tangent!”

So back to why am I so happy. Mostly because of a realization and a choice. I realized that 10 X 6 is 60, and that has changed my life. No. I realized something much greater. I realized something about who I am, and why I am the way I am. I’ve been letting people shape who I am and I’ve let them take control. Of course that is a subconscious allowance. But I don’t have to let THEM make me who I am, and I don’t have to let THEM intimidate me. I can be me and they can be them. I don’t need to be their mom, and they don’t need to be mine. I already have one of those thank you very much, and I quite enjoy her.

So after I made that realization, I made the choice to choose instead of letting myself be trodden over and made into some form of modern art. No ribbons, no bows; no quivering at intimidation, no crossing of fingers behind my back to ease the nervousness. None of that. I like being real, and incredible, and


just. me.

“You will never do anything in this world without courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.” - Aristotle

August 16th 2008, 12:30am Friday.

Well, I felt that I had to write in my journal, though I also feel that I need to write it on the computer, because it is so much faster than scratching out every letter. And mistakes are easily erasable.

Today hasn’t been that interesting. I haven’t done much of mention. I went to the dance, and this is where the ‘something of mention’ was, though it wasn’t really me doing anything, more of witnessing something.

Do you ever feel that you witness greatness in something? Or maybe someone? Well, I have witnessed someone great. Someone amazing. Someone special. And I don’t mean that in a creepy, or negative way at all. See, I met Shannon. Right off the bat, there was something about her that I could tell she was home schooled, and though that usually sets people strangely as an outcast, Shannon was not. Rather, she was kind, thoughtful, brave, open, intelligent, and all of this obvious in the short half hour I met her.

Now all that said, there is more. See, she is duel citizenship in Canada and the USA, even though she was born in Germany, and grew up in Turkey. She has been to Italy and one other place that I forgot the name of. She looks young and yet has taken three years of Education to teach Elementary school kids, at BYU Idaho, with only 2 more years left. She’s a go-getter. She DOES what she wants to do. She is not afraid. And she is GREAT.

I only met her for so short a time, but I think she has permanently affected my life. I got along with her. I could talk to her. I didn’t feel like an idiot in front of her. Around other people, such as the parlor girls, I feel outcast and stupid. Yet around her I was not judged, not awkward.

In all of this, what does it mean? Why is this of mention really? I met a great person? And so what?

Because it’s my turn.

I am so DONE with all of this. THAT, what she had, THAT I want. True freedom. No fear. She can do what she wants because she is not afraid, and isn’t judging of everything around her.

She danced with the man in the wheelchair. How? Dunno, but she did it! She introduced herself, even though she knows that she is leaving in a few weeks, has no need to learn our names, has no reason to become interested in our lives, but she did anyway. She is my hero. I want to be like her. Caring, and careless. Caring of people, and careless for fear. She is courageous, and wise too.

It is my turn. I’ve been waiting, and now I want to stand up and BE somebody. What have I been waiting for? The things I fear aren’t ever going to be less intimidating. I just have to go do it, and then instead of analyzing it and fretting over what-if-details, do the next thing that scares me.

It’s time.

Stop. Wait. Rewind. Try again.

Guess what! 282 Days til Christmas! Yep that's right everyone, start shopping and watching the malls for all the little odds and ends that pop up on the shelves with lots of elves, green holly and little white angels.

But that's not what we want to read about right? I mean, really, who cares about all that superficial stuff? Where's the beef?

So once upon a time I started writing a story. It never became anything. I started it, was interested in it for a while... It's almost like my life. But just like my story, I haven't become anything. I have tried, in unimpressive and very pathetic manners, and failed! I have become nothing! I will not stand for this. Who is with me!? Heck, it doesn't matter if anyone stands by me. I am taking a stand and if no one stands beside me, I don't care. I have two feet of my own.

Here I stand at the brink of the wall I've faced for FAR too long. I will stand on this side no longer! I am too anxious to see the other side and the wonders that await me. And if there be no 'wonders', then at least it will be different scenery! I am not where I want to be; cowering in other's shadows, fearing to speak to strangers, unable to open up and just cry in front of people. I will not have it! I feel something as I type these words that if only I felt all the time I would have to problem having courage. I think that is exactly what I feel coursing through me. Courage. What I would give to have it more... In fact... I know just what I can give to help it stay. Now the question shall be passed on, because one can not pass on this answer. It has to be realized.

If only I could keep this realization with me constantly. That is the part where we all struggle I suppose. Balance.

I do invite you however to stand with me this day. Stand, be bold and look forward for new life, new challenges and new fears conquered. And to heal.

My brother Proposed!

Hope this works! Only my brother would do this kind of thing! Love him so much.

It truely is a sad day.

"A long time ago according to the life of a fruit salad, but very close to home there was a pickle who loved to swim, which suited him just fine because he lived in the pickle jar which contained much liquid, which was perfect for swimming in. But little did the brainless pickle know, there was a butter knife who thought tortilla chips would taste wonderful with pickles. Or was it the hand at the other side of the knife that thought this union would taste so splendid? In any case, the pickle lives no more..."

Everyone was looking at the speaker. Most were wondering "Are you ok?" But unwilling to interrupt his obvious sorrow for the little green pickle, they said nothing, and chose instead to stare fixedly at the little pickle, faking to strain for a tear or two.

"And that is why we are gathered here today in memory of the pickle" He sniffled. "At the kitchen counter... staring down at the leftover half of a little green object..."

Everyone patted him once on the back for support. Then, realizing they really didn't care for the little pickle, they left silently, leaving him to mourn over his seeming loss.

Then he looked over at the pickle jar. What a great pickle it was. What a very... tasty... pickle... He thought, while eying the pickle jar... Especially when combined with Tortilla chips.

Theories of Truth

Coming to my attention often are snippets of interest that I would like to offer to others. Firstly, (and I believe this whole-heartedly) is this video on the Earth Expanding. It is very self explanatory. The only thing it lacks is the explanation of what happens on the inside of the Earth to make it expand so? Curious to be sure. My hypothesis (you'll notice I do not 'believe this whole-heartedly') is that the Earth is Hollow. Which would makes sense based upon some other research I've done and stumbled across, to which I do not accept credit, but that it is the thoughts of others, quite frankly that I am drawing upon, and only placing these masterful ideas together to form what I view as Truth.

Here are some of the theories and pieces of truth I've picked up. Not all of them do I believe, but most seem to fit in their place snugly. Some Have no backing, other than a phrase, and others have only the theory name as I don't have all that much time at this moment.


Electric Universe

IF the Universe is electrical (which we will assume for the time being), and IF generators spin to create energy (which we know they do) and IF our planet is spinning along with our solar system, which is spinning within a spinning galaxy (which we know it is) then our Earth, Solar System, and galaxy are creating energy. Doesn’t friction warm things up? Would that then explain the heat of the sun?
Watch Electric Universe Video

Also... if the earth is heating up due to the Electric Universe, wouldn’t that explain the “Global Warming” taking place that everyone is fearing so much?

Growing Earth

If hot things expand (which we know they do) and if our Sun is heating the Earth (which we know it is) then it would be logical to think that our earth is expanding, like a balloon full of hot air.
Therefore it would be logical to assume that the Earth is growing.

Hollow Earth

How is the Earth Expanding? Well, there is a hole in the earth. Yep. Right in the center.
If the earth is Hollow... Could there be people living in it?

Lost 10 tribes

Where are the lost ten tribes?
Perhaps they went and found the center of the Earth, where in they live now.
Or perhaps this is where the city of Enoch went.

D&C 133: 26 26 “And they who are in the north countries shall come in remembrance before the Lord; and their prophets shall hear his voice, and shall no longer stay themselves; and they shall smite the rocks, and the ice shall flow down at their presence.”

“John Kanzius, a Washington County native, tried to desalinate seawater with a generator he developed to treat cancer, and it caused a flash in the test tube. Within days, he had the salt water in the test tube burning like a candle, as long as it was exposed to radio frequencies.”
Article

“Quetzalcoatl (Christ) is linked to the gods of Mesoamerica. Legend has it that he vanished on a flying saucer for eight days when he visited the inner worlds beneath the sea.” Article

Carbon dating - Is the Earth really… Billions of years old?

Carbon dating does not work on any animal etc that is aquatic, including any animal etc. that feeds off of aquatic animals. “This leaves out aquatic creatures, since their carbon might (for example) come from dissolved carbonate rock. That causes a dating problem with any animal that eats seafood.” Article

If there was a flood like the Bible suggests, then there is no way that carbon dating would be completely accurate.

“In Hawaii a lava flow which is known to have taken place in 1800-1801—less than 200 years ago—was dated by potassium-argon as being 2,960 million years old.” Article

Uranium and Potassium-Argon dating won’t work if water has been involved.

Was the Flood due to the earth warming and cracking the "Firmament"?

First, there WAS a Firmament:

Genesis 1: 6-8
1:6 And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the
      waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

1:7 And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were
      under the firmament from the waters which were above the
      firmament: and it was so.

1:8 And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the
      morning were the second day.

Could the expanding of the Earth have been to great a pressure, and therefore cracked the firmament which caused the flood?

Dinosaurs
They still exist. Watch video. It's very long but well worth it.

Hmm... It's only dark out.

I don’t think that darkness is all its cracked up to be. I mean if you look at it like this, let’s compare it to light. When in darkness, one only has to simply light a candle, turn on a flashlight, or snap a glow stick, and Ca BOOM! You have light where in you can see again. But in the reverse situations, where there is light, there is no Ooops, it’s suddenly dark if you light a candle, or what ever the opposite of a candle is, or oops, the opposite of a glow stick made everything dark. There is no opposite, because darkness is only as powerful as a shadow at sun rise. It has no weight, no substance, can’t control anything, and very shortly the sun shall appear and cast it off. They can’t hang around for ever. Unless you bury them. In a cave, or your hands. And even then you have candles or flashlights which can brighten it so that it no longer exists.

See, that’s the funny thing about darkness; if you brighten it up, it no longer exists.

And what if we compare darkness to hate, and light to love? A whole new perspective. And it's true.