Quitting vs Giving Up

There is a big difference between quitting and giving up.

See, giving up is that feeling you get when you decide within yourself that you aren't worth trying for. Giving up is that sense of abandoning yourself. Giving up is that universal gesture of hands in the air, surrendering in bitterness. Giving up is retreating from oneself. Giving up is betrayal of self.

Quitting on the other hand is choosing to let go of something that doesn't serve you anymore. Quitting is making the decision to do something even better for yourself than what you were doing before. Quitting is saying no to one thing so you can say yes to something else. Quitting is going with the flow and moving forward. Quitting is supporting your higher self.

So never give up.

But go ahead and quit*.

*Side note, quit when you've got a better option, don't just quit cold turkey. No one likes cold turkey. The gravy doesn't stick.

True Love vs Choosing Love

I don't believe true love is something that catches you off guard when that someone special walks by - I believe it's a choice. 

And you can only choose something such as love, when you know how. You can't choose love while you're convinced the other person is wrong, or when you are afraid and can only see the fear. Trust me, I know by first hand experience.

See, you cannot actually choose a loving behaviour if you don't have the tools to choose it. It's just not possible to make a decision if there appears to be only one option. By definition, "decide" means to make a choice from a number of alternatives. The "choices" we make in a relationships can only ever be "reactions" to behaviour if we DON'T KNOW how else to respond. Let me repeat that in clearer words... 

If we DON'T KNOW how else to react, we are only DELUDED by believing we are making a CHOICE.

True love whether romantic, familial, or toward a friend is a choice. But how can you choose to love someone when you can only see pain, hurt, betrayal, distance, coldness, neglect or disinterest?

The truth they don't tell us in all the fairytales and romantic stories is much less glamorous and yet much more fulfilling and empowering than any fictional work I've seen so far. Here's the truth: 

"True love" is made up of two things: 

1. Information 

and 

2. Choice

When we see pain, distance, neglect etc in our partner, we must ask questions if we want to stay in love. Inform ourselves about the other person's side, understand what's going on, ask questions, get curious. If it's not clear what questions to ask, begin by asking yourself what you see, want and need.

We must have information in order to make good choices, and we are told by the media that all we need is love. Well love is a choice and we must educate ourselves if we want to stay in love! Educate ourselves with books, videos and information, and most importantly educate ourselves about ourselves. 

If we believe we only have one option, if we do not know the rest of the story, we will believe we have no choice, and we must take the only option available, but the truth is - WE SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW BETTER YET.

I am pro-education especially regarding relationships because I am a lover. I can love better, the more I can choose. I can choose better the more I am aware. The more I am aware, the better the world is.

What do you think? 

A Note from The Universe

Over the past few weeks there has been a recurring theme snagging my attention in business, relationships and personal growth. It was important enough to not only write down but also to integrate into my life at any cost.

Themes are often recurring in my life and tend to work like this, that when the universe wants to tell me something, it more or less hands me a note paper with an important message scribbled on it. After letting me read the message, the universe decides to hand me another note paper a few days later to reinforce the idea that I should do something about the message it had handed me the day before.

It goes on like this for a few weeks, the universe handing me message after message on different pieces of figurative note paper until one day after I've collected the same message on several of these bits of paper, I finally give in and shake a fisted note at the sky (which at this point has become an ACTUAL note paper on which I've taken down the dictations of the universe in my own penmanship) with a slight smirk and a "Fine! I get the point! I'll do it, I'll do it!"

After searching for answers to some of my personal questions about how to get what I want out of life, the universe kindly handed me this message (again and again) over the last couple weeks:

Hey Sarah!
I heard you're looking for a few new things in your life such as a good relationship, happiness, more money and all that lovely stuff you mortals like to have around. Well I thought I'd help you out and let you in on the trick to getting what you want. If you're interested in doing something about it, there are the two parts to it:  

First, you've got to get present with yourself. You've got to know what you REALLY want. This can be tricky if you don't know how to get present with your higher self, but I've got confidence you'll figure it out.

The second part is tricky. You've got to get present with yourself enough to let go of the very thing you want. See, if you hold on to it too tightly, you'll miss it when I hand it to you because it won't look exactly like what you were expecting. It'll be better, and you'll miss it if you're too busy focusing on it the way you think it ought to be. To get what you want, you must let go of how it is delivered and focus only on being so present with the moment that you can with child like excitement recognize the gift when I give it to you. 

You must first decide to be happy, and then you may have the things that you think make you happy. It sounds like a contradiction, but I promise that if you chase the things you think will make you happy, you won't be happy even once you have them, and if you are at peace with yourself you'll naturally receive the things that really do make you happy. The truth is you'll never be happy if happiness is dependant on things outside of yourself.  

So keep moving, set your sights on what you want and let go of the outcome. Focus on accepting what is, and I'll do the heavy lifting.

Love you, 

The Universe 

Misconception about love

I think the biggest misconception about love 

is that it's something you can lose.

To love yourself... 

...to love your friends... 

...to love your family... 

...to love your environment... 

...to love your body... 

...to love your job... 

...to love your life... 

Is not to look at it and see how badly everything needs fixing, 

or to long for the return of something you may not have again. 

It's not to stretch or contort the truth

into what you wish it would be instead.

It is to look at it exactly as it is, 

embrace it in the moment, 

see the potential for greatness, 

act out of gratitude for it being in your life now 

and let it grow as it will, 

however that may be, 

even if it leaves you, 

even if it's only alive for a moment. 

Feminist lovers

"We are different than you."
"You are mean to us."
"It is US, against THEM."
"Love everyone... Except those guys..."

Most feminists are ignored these days because feminists have become synonymous with men-haters. It's an unfortunate thing really, because in reality feminists just want to be treated equal, but we've done a right ol' job of making it bloody difficult to love us women if we're attacking those we want to accept us.

And that's part of the problem, right there. US and THEM. Since when was "this" human over here with these select differences made out to be somehow better than "that" human over there for their select differences? Since when was it so abnormal for us to be both human and unique? Since when was it OK to try to make everyone the SAME? Being EQUAL does not mean we are the SAME.

I think it's about time we saw ourselves for what we really are: alive. All of us.

And yet that's hard to imagine others loving people that hate them, let alone ourselves acting out of grace and love toward someone who hurts us. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is the general motto. "If you do that, I'll do the same." or "If you do this, I'll react to it and show YOU what I think!"

But as Byron Katie says, "Defence is the first act of war."

As soon as we put our boxing gloves on, no matter the intention behind why we put them on, we immediately place ourselves at opposite sides of the ring. Me against you. Us against them. Winner against loser.

Is it so hard to see that when one person is acting out, they are just hurting? I believe in the natural goodness of humanity. I believe we have something worth loving for, not fighting for. I truly believe embracing an enemy in love is a more courageous act than holding a gun to shoot them.

May it be soon that we break out of the HE and SHE mentalities into the WE mentality. May it be soon that we come together and love ourselves for WHO we are.

Let's celebrate life. Let's celebrate differences. <3

Big Difference - Put a song up

I often feel that what I say through music is what I wish I could say through words. If you follow my blog at all, you'll know that I posted something similar to the sentiments of this song not long ago. This came from that same energy.

Recorded it today, hoping I could make sense of a few feelings and thoughts. When it came down to it, this was not the intended song which I wrote - there was another verse and a bunch more repeated but I accidentally turned the chorus around and it fit so well it got me thinking and pondering as you can see at the end of the video, so I kept it as is. I think it means more like this anyway.

Here are the lyrics: 

Big Difference - Sera Peters

There’s a big difference here

Between what you want me to say 

And what you want to hear

And so I close my mouth

And I don’t say a thing

And this way you might be 

Happy - at least that’s what I think. 

Feel the waves and feel the flow

Catch it once and don’t let go

I said what I meant to 

And I meant what I said

But you didn’t ask me

Why is that? 

You didn’t let me 

Finish my words

You couldn’t hear me

You were afraid to get hurt

I couldn’t say it

You’d think it meant more

When really I meant everything

That you didn’t stand for

And so I close my mouth

And I don’t say a thing

And this way you might be 

Happy - at least that’s what I think. 

Feel the waves and feel the flow

Catch it once and don’t let go

You said what you meant to 

And you meant what you said

But I didn’t ask you

Why is that?

Anything solid would be nice

My really close friend passed away last week. He took his own life.

I'm a little stunned that it happened at all, and just got back from being up in the city where he lived at the time. I had hoped to comfort his family and friends and offer help with funeral prep while up there, and although I created a slideshow for the funeral, I'm not sure I did much else.

Over all, I'm really confused because there are so many emotions vying for position and I don't know which one to let take the stage. I'd like for just one emotion to settle in so I can just BE... Just feel SOMETHING... Anything solid would be nice. Just something to go off of so I could cry, rage, smile, dance, or crawl into a corner and rock myself to sleep... any one thing would be great. I just want to feel one thing at a time instead of all of them at once, leaving me incapable of anything but confusion and numbness. And damn, it doesn't help at all to have a break up in the midst of it... Just to make the feelings that much more confusing and layered... Shit.

Do I feel absolute love for my friend still? Yes.
Do I feel sad because I know I'm going to miss him? Yes.
Do I feel awkward that I don't know what words to say to others he was close with? Yes.
Do I feel relief that I don't have to pay him back for his small loan now? Yes.
Do I feel responsible for helping others to remember him? Yes.
Do I feel happy about everything else in my life that's going well? Yes.
Do I feel shameful to feel so happy about everything else in my life that's going well? Yes.
Do I feel curious about where his soul might be right now? Yes.
Do I feel grateful he went before me so now it's safer to go wherever he is? Yes.
Do I feel tired of thinking about it altogether? Yes.
Do I feel impatient with others who don't get what's going on yet? Yes.
Do I feel overwhelmed with all these feelings? Yes.

Or maybe I just want to know for myself how I really feel...

Anything solid would be nice.