The bond without self is empty

Don't you ever forget -
Don't you dare forget, my love...
Don't forget...
Today, forever and always,
You are married first and foremost to yourself.

For, without you -
There can be no relationship.
It takes two for a bond,
And if you forget yourself,
You have taken yourself out of the bond,
Out of the equation.

To forget yourself -
In order to love someone else,
Is to kill off a main character
In the relationship you seek to have.

So do me a favor,
Don't forget -
Today, forever and always,
You are married first and foremost to yourself.

Elizabeth Gilbert suggested writing a letter "From Fear"

I did your suggested exercise of allowing my fear to write a letter to me, and thought the insight might be worth sharing in case anyone else relates:

Dearest Lizzie-Lynn,

I hate you. You will be the death of us all! Maybe.

But admittedly, you get things right sometimes and then I don’t hate you so much. And honestly, you get things right more often than I'd like to admit. You seem to prove me wrong often enough, but that doesn’t give you the right to ignore me. I’m trying to protect us, you know, and you keep telling me to shut up. I’m tired of it. I want you to listen. To really listen to me. Get curious and ask me questions about why I’m saying what I’m saying so that we can figure out a solution together. There’s usually a solution, but you seem to just give up if I mention a concern. Please stop that.

I think the reason you do that is because sometimes you give WAY too much meaning to what I tell you. Sometimes I tell you "I don't know what will happen!" and you think I said, "the world's doom is upon us." All I'm asking is that you listen to what I tell you and we arm ourselves with the info, so we can plan our next moves together! And please remember, I DO mean to alert you, but not IMMOBILIZE you. I simply want you to LOOK at the things I bring to your attention. Sometimes I say something because I'm SUPER sure we've both been here before, and it was really painful, so I’m just trying to say "Let's not do that again!” which in my mind means we can figure out together how to proceed, but you often default to giving up on your idea.

And lastly, I think you're braver than I am, which honestly is scary because I think I'm right most of the time and in spite of my opinion, you put us into unnecessarily precarious situations when you ignore me. The painful results could be avoided if you'd just LOOK at what I'm trying to point out to you.

I simply want you to be aware of and then decide what you'll do about the topics I bring up. I'm sure you can figure out ways of keeping us all safe. You're pretty creative, you'll figure something out... As long as you actually LISTEN to me and stop IGNORING me, that is.

With hate sometimes, and love sometimes,

Your Ever-present Fear

Elizabeth Gilbert suggested writing a letter... This is the link to that post.

Waiting for the rain to stop

I'm about to head up to Calgary in a few hours, and I'm super excited about our new home we'll be moving into at the beginning of August. It's a basement suite, but raised so the light from the windows pours in. I absolutely love it!

Lately, I've fallen in love with biking. It's amazing. Being out in the beautiful woods as the scenes zip past - it's something out of a movie. If I could, I would strap my guitar to my front and play as I rode, but alas, that's highly unlikely... Very dangerous... But I think guitar and biking might mix beautifully, as would a picnic. :)

Lessons

Action is powerful.

Action gives you a super power in getting results you want.

Action is easier in teams.

Teams form when you get super clear on what you want.

Getting clear on what you want requires good questions.

Good questions are usually prompted by asking about what excites you.

Life changing questions ate usually prompted by asking the questions you hope others won't ever ask.

If you don't know what questions those are, ask an enemy.

Good answers to those questions are found faster when you talk to people who get results you're jealous of.

Open mics - a lesson learned

I've been of doing another open mic recently and found my notes from last time. I thought I'd share some tips from what I learned.
What I learned at the open mic:

1. Any music sheets you bring, make sure you can read them in any light and have large enough print. (I had no black ink at the time and couldn't see the blue text in the dim light)

2. Memorize as much of the songs as possible. (I forgot many parts and would have benefited from remembering how they went better)

3. Prepare and practice the songs way long before hand, and choose which ones you feel most comfortable with - if covers make you feel uncomfortable, don't do them. (I did a mash up if two songs which I more or less butchered because I didn't practice enough)

4. Sit cross legged, your nervous jitters will be less noticeable. (My legs were shaking like I was trying to beat eggs with my feet. Sitting cross legged made it seem I knew what I was doing and that I wasn't scared shitless)

5. Have the mic at a comfortable height. (I had it too high at first, and was too nervous to readjust, but it makes a ton of difference for performance and confidence if it's the right height)

6. Bring water up with you. (My nervousness made my mouth dry. Water became my only thought after 'gah! I can't believe I'm doing this!!')

Anyway, hope those tips help.  :)

A bit about me.

I've been in the graphic design industry for over nine years and make a living doing what I love - creating art. My favourite part of the design process is getting that "YES! That's it! That's the one - " moment after showing someone a finished design. 

My style tends to be bold and controlled with a curvaceous flair. I've designed everything from logos to funeral brochures, websites to book covers and everything between and otherwise. 

Of all my projects, my favourite ones to work on tend to be the 3d paper box designs. I also really like clean and daring logos, and creating illustrations for Children's colouring books.

I grew up with a farmer's lifestyle, living on a green hill and fetching escaped chickens during midday frolics. I later became a city-dweller as a strong graphic designer owning several businesses. 

But I owe a lot of the credit to my dad; basically, when computers first came out - my dad was at the front of the line. As a result, us kids grew up as some of the first programmers and graphic designers, with nothing else to do on a farm in the winter except sharpen our skills - we've been doing it since it was a thing to do. 

But more than that, what got me from point A to point B is I've had incredible influences in my life. 

1. Strong family members who taught me to challenge the status quo

2. Passionately political friends who taught me to care about the world around me

3. Compelling teachers who showed me there is more to life than just working for money

Because of this, it is my focus to help others do what they love and better the world around them. I do what I love, and choose to participate in projects which inspire optimism. 

Just felt like sharing. :) 

Exaltation - I don't take it lightly

I no longer believe the church of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints is the true church of God.

When my mom found out, she gracefully reacted with love which shocked me because she strongly believes the church is the only way to be with God again.

Later, after many other events took place, my dear mother with love in her heart and tears in her eyes told me how grieved she was that I was choosing to live as I was. I tried to comfort her by saying I could understand how she felt and that I felt the love for me which she had. But instead of feeling heard or understood, she said, "No, you can't possibly understand! There is so much more you're losing, your exaltation for example. But of course, you don't believe in that anymore."

Well, I just want to say I do understand. Do you think it was easy to leave the church knowing my exaltation was on the line? I wasn't doing what I did without thinking. It took much thought, much prayer, much action and talking things through - these sorts of things aren't simple or small, so it's not as if I don't understand that to her it would seem that my exaltation was being risked by my decisions.

I'm happier now, and more certain in the uncertain. I love not knowing everything - it just means that there is so much more to discover. :)