So many people who pump out blogs do so in such an artistic way... Well, I've stumbled upon a blog that has the potential to change everything about me. No wait... It's not a blog, but one post on that blog. Here is the link: Be Brave Project
It's such an odd feeling where I am right now. So many parts of me are being pulled different directions. For instance, I'm supposed to be getting ready for work... obviously I'm not. There is one direction I'm attempting to ignore being pulled towards. This is called effective procrastination.
I want to be what I don't want to be... That sounds wrong but only up until the point that I explain myself. I don't want to be "chittery" like those people at parties who won't shut up, but I do want to be able to speak when I get thoughts. I tend to analyze each thought briefly before saying them, and though that is useful from the perspective that one should look before they leap, I look so often before I leap, that though I've checked and double checked that it is safe, I choose not to make the jump because there is a slight chance I will fall on my head. I need to take leaps of faith here... What ever happened to "Leap and the net will appear"? See, I want to have both, and they both have their moments, and I tend to side to the one. Look before you leap. So often I'm watching for so long that I miss the chance. The train below the bridge I'm standing on has already left. I want to take those chances in my speech. I want to be that, and yet before I did not want to be that... so perhaps now I've completely confused the sentence I began with. I want to be what I don't want to be. Maybe I've sorted it out some. Communication problems I tell ya, because it makes perfect sense in my head.
I've been so afraid... but no more...
No longer afraid
When I thought upon
The task I have to do,
Terror blurred my eyes,
And I was frozen too.
But earlier today
I came to realize
I don't have to be afraid,
Fear won't be in my eyes.
And then immediately
I had no more to fear
And I stood up upon my feet
And that is why I'm here.
I am no longer afraid,
I am strong and I am brave.
You can look into my eyes
For fearless I will stay.
Sera © 2007
Thursday, November 29
Saturday, November 17
What's been happening in my life
Wow... It truly has been a long time since I last wrote in here. So much has happened. I randomly stumbled upon someone else's blog that inspired me to continue my own. I don't think I'm going to recap my life though.
Honestly, I don't think people read my blogs. That's OK with me though since it's basically only a journal entry any way. So let's see. What do I feel like divulging at this time?
Well, I think the most confusing thing right now is guys. Well, no... Just one of them. There's a deeper reason than most people have for being confused on this topic though. Ok, so I was involved with someone who, before we ever started going steady, told me "we will always be friends". We got more and more involved and he constantly reassured me that we would always be friends. Then, when we broke up, I felt OK about it because he said that we would still be friends. But as time has got the best of me, and I've sent emails he hasn't spoken to me or replied. I've even been to his house while visiting roommates, and he doesn't talk to me. Doesn't hardly give me credit of existing. So is this how friends work? Poor guy. I think he thinks that if he talks to me I'm going to "fall for him" again or vise versa. I don't know. I wish someone could explain this behavior. I'm not bitter, I just wish he could be true to himself. If he doesn't learn to keep promises like this, it will catch up with him at some point.
OK, here's a question, just in case someone reads this, and actually replies. What do I do if someone is interested in me and I'm not interested in them, how do I tell them as kindly as possible, and still bluntly enough that they GET it? Ah well...
Alright. So I just planted wheat to make wheat grass. Steps like this:
1. Put wheat in jar with water to let sprout for a day
2. rinsed the wheat, put out on paper towel and sprayed often (throughout the day) with water for 2 days
3. put 1 inch of dirt (from the store, good fertilizer dirt) in flat, square pie tray, and then placed sprouted wheat roughly one layer thick, and then sprinkled dirt over the top just to cover them. Then sprayed with water a little more to soak the top. It kinda looks like chocolate cake.
And that's as far as I've gotten. We'll see how good they turn out. I put the pie tray on the table. Hopefully no one takes a bite. :D
I am SOOOOOO excited for Christmas. I'm gonna go work on my Christmas list. Wheeeeee!!!!
-Gaddia
Honestly, I don't think people read my blogs. That's OK with me though since it's basically only a journal entry any way. So let's see. What do I feel like divulging at this time?
Well, I think the most confusing thing right now is guys. Well, no... Just one of them. There's a deeper reason than most people have for being confused on this topic though. Ok, so I was involved with someone who, before we ever started going steady, told me "we will always be friends". We got more and more involved and he constantly reassured me that we would always be friends. Then, when we broke up, I felt OK about it because he said that we would still be friends. But as time has got the best of me, and I've sent emails he hasn't spoken to me or replied. I've even been to his house while visiting roommates, and he doesn't talk to me. Doesn't hardly give me credit of existing. So is this how friends work? Poor guy. I think he thinks that if he talks to me I'm going to "fall for him" again or vise versa. I don't know. I wish someone could explain this behavior. I'm not bitter, I just wish he could be true to himself. If he doesn't learn to keep promises like this, it will catch up with him at some point.
OK, here's a question, just in case someone reads this, and actually replies. What do I do if someone is interested in me and I'm not interested in them, how do I tell them as kindly as possible, and still bluntly enough that they GET it? Ah well...
Alright. So I just planted wheat to make wheat grass. Steps like this:
1. Put wheat in jar with water to let sprout for a day
2. rinsed the wheat, put out on paper towel and sprayed often (throughout the day) with water for 2 days
3. put 1 inch of dirt (from the store, good fertilizer dirt) in flat, square pie tray, and then placed sprouted wheat roughly one layer thick, and then sprinkled dirt over the top just to cover them. Then sprayed with water a little more to soak the top. It kinda looks like chocolate cake.
And that's as far as I've gotten. We'll see how good they turn out. I put the pie tray on the table. Hopefully no one takes a bite. :D
I am SOOOOOO excited for Christmas. I'm gonna go work on my Christmas list. Wheeeeee!!!!
-Gaddia
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