"A long time ago according to the life of a fruit salad, but very close to home there was a pickle who loved to swim, which suited him just fine because he lived in the pickle jar which contained much liquid, which was perfect for swimming in. But little did the brainless pickle know, there was a butter knife who thought tortilla chips would taste wonderful with pickles. Or was it the hand at the other side of the knife that thought this union would taste so splendid? In any case, the pickle lives no more..."
Everyone was looking at the speaker. Most were wondering "Are you ok?" But unwilling to interrupt his obvious sorrow for the little green pickle, they said nothing, and chose instead to stare fixedly at the little pickle, faking to strain for a tear or two.
"And that is why we are gathered here today in memory of the pickle" He sniffled. "At the kitchen counter... staring down at the leftover half of a little green object..."
Everyone patted him once on the back for support. Then, realizing they really didn't care for the little pickle, they left silently, leaving him to mourn over his seeming loss.
Then he looked over at the pickle jar. What a great pickle it was. What a very... tasty... pickle... He thought, while eying the pickle jar... Especially when combined with Tortilla chips.
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