Stop. Wait. Rewind. Try again.

Guess what! 282 Days til Christmas! Yep that's right everyone, start shopping and watching the malls for all the little odds and ends that pop up on the shelves with lots of elves, green holly and little white angels.

But that's not what we want to read about right? I mean, really, who cares about all that superficial stuff? Where's the beef?

So once upon a time I started writing a story. It never became anything. I started it, was interested in it for a while... It's almost like my life. But just like my story, I haven't become anything. I have tried, in unimpressive and very pathetic manners, and failed! I have become nothing! I will not stand for this. Who is with me!? Heck, it doesn't matter if anyone stands by me. I am taking a stand and if no one stands beside me, I don't care. I have two feet of my own.

Here I stand at the brink of the wall I've faced for FAR too long. I will stand on this side no longer! I am too anxious to see the other side and the wonders that await me. And if there be no 'wonders', then at least it will be different scenery! I am not where I want to be; cowering in other's shadows, fearing to speak to strangers, unable to open up and just cry in front of people. I will not have it! I feel something as I type these words that if only I felt all the time I would have to problem having courage. I think that is exactly what I feel coursing through me. Courage. What I would give to have it more... In fact... I know just what I can give to help it stay. Now the question shall be passed on, because one can not pass on this answer. It has to be realized.

If only I could keep this realization with me constantly. That is the part where we all struggle I suppose. Balance.

I do invite you however to stand with me this day. Stand, be bold and look forward for new life, new challenges and new fears conquered. And to heal.