Language Barriers

I think I knew English a lot better when I was a kid. I may know more words now, but I don't use them as much. I remember randomly talking to people in the hallways and on the bus to and from school. I would look out the window and randomly comment on how green the weeds were today, and a conversation would start. There was always something to talk about whether it was why we didn't need to wear seat belts on a bus, or who ran the fastest in the track meet, or possibly what the meaning of life was. There was always an available topic at hand.

And yes, there were certain people I sat next to on a frequent basis, and so it was easier to talk to them because I knew them well, but when those seats were full, there was no problem sitting next to someone else and striking up a conversation. When I was elementary school age, I didn't filter my thoughts so much as I do now, based on what I think the other person thinks about what I say. Somehow my English must have been better back then because now I don't have a single thing to say.

There are bus rides and car rides, church pews and front lawns, side walks and rooftops, and in all these places I see people sitting, standing or walking and I turn away drawing a blank as to what to say first, and then I don't say a thing.

And then I find the real clincher at home. I get in and turn the computer on. I turn it on and log into facebook, because that's where everyone posts what they are up to. See, I don't have to ask anyone what they are up to, they just post it online. And if I see them in person I don't need to ask what they did last weekend, because I already know. They might not know that I know, but I do. And so there is one less topic conversation starters, because I already know all about last weekend. I saw the pictures.

And those people who have made the choice not to post their current activity online where all can see, well I don't see them anymore. I don't know what's going on in their life, and I don't ask because I'm busy being bombarded with all these other updates of other people's lives, so much that it's hard to care what so-and-so is up to. There's just no time.

I just used facebook, and used what little English I had left to communicate to the people who took the time to post pictures or status-messages online. And I saw less of people's faces, yet we pretended we were friends by chatting back and forth on the internet, without really getting into deep conversations because, well, deep conversations are reserved for face to face interactions.

I read on facebook what other people are doing, but we don't even chat anymore. I just post what I'm doing, and they post what they are doing, and we feel satisfied that we are socializing and hanging out. And then every once in a while we do more and actually chat, but it's rare and I don't know what to say.

I think that's what God feels like when he can see what we are doing, but we don't take the time to pray and tell him how we feel about what is going on in our lives. He sees the events, but he wants to hear it from us, to hear from our perspective what is going on in our lives. He wants to talk to us. I think I'm not very good at it. I think I need to improve my English.