Dean sat down today, and turned on his computer so he could talk to his son. They used Skype. I walked by the room, and heard talking and laughing. How beautiful, I thought. I was jealous of him. Jealous because he keeps his car in good condition.
I don't keep my car in good working order. When it breaks down, I take it to the shop. Because I need a means of transportation. Dean looks after his car, works on maintenance, cracks, oil, windshield repair... He hardly ever needs to take his car into the shop. It hardly ever breaks down.
Do you see what I'm saying? Dean looks after his car, like he looks after relationships. He doesn't wait until they break down before he fixes them, he gets on his computer, and talks to people he's not close enough to talk to in person! He gets out the phone and has real communications with people! I, on the other hand wait until my car has broken down before I fix it. If that! I'll fix it if I really really need it! If I don't need my car, I won't fix it! What a selfish disaster I am!
I don't change the oil in my car!
I'm taking a moment to analyze myself. It doesn't seem to be helping my mood. The relationships around me flounder. The relationships not around me (ie: out of circle of friends) are less than floundering, but rather non-existant. I just don't talk to people. I don't change the oil in my car.
Ugh. Maybe this will help. I'll be taking on the challenge of the computer hiatus. I shan't be on for the next two weeks, in hopes that something good will come of it. Maybe I'll be forced to talk to REAL people, instead of facebook, fake people. Maybe I'll have to square with myself and actually send letters.
Goodbye cruel world. Was nice knowing you.