How am I awkward? Well a lot of it has improved over the years with careful paying attention (ie: people watching), and the majority doesn't matter as much as I thought it did, but I still feel the conversation falls flat if I do this one thing. It's not like my chin twitches or something, it's much subtler than that.
It's something to do with my response when someone asks me about myself. For example, someone might ask what I do for a living and instead of answering in any interesting way, I give a point-blank "I'm a graphic designer, and I'm excited about it."... Well the conversation just died there because there was nothing else for the person to go off of. A friend of mine who took drama class (which I unfortunately missed out on during our moving-around-from-one-high-school-to-the-next-phase) said that one major rule in improv drama is to always always add something to the scene for the other actors to build off of. Well that's good advice in any setting, and especially in non-awkward-social interactions.
So instead of just saying what I do with an "I'm so excited about it" I need to tell them what that MEANS to me. For example, if I were to tell someone what it meant for me to do what I do for a living, I might say:
"Well, I'm a graphic designer. I got into graphic design when I was sixteen, more or less by accident and I just kept honing the skill because it seemed to provide a valuable service for people, so I just kept doing it until finally I realized why I wanted to continue doing graphic design. Being a graphic designer sets me free - free to set my own hours, free to chase my passions, free to go anywhere I want to go, free to express myself. Graphic design is my way of giving the greatest gift I could to myself, and that is: freedom."
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And who couldn't say something about that? I've given WAY more to build off of than with what I would have said before. And something meaningful to boot! OH MUY GOSH - This is a REVELATION to my finite brain - how did I miss that life lesson???
Just because I know now what it was that I am / was missing, that doesn't mean the problem is solved. I need tips and tricks to put it into practice. Here's one tip I picked up in my search so far:
There are a couple questions which could help others struggling with the same issue of answering with a lack of detail is to ask one of these questions:
"When that opportunity / thought / thing came along, what was it that you overcame to get there?" or "What was it that HELD you back?" or "What inspired you to get to where you are now?"
THOSE questions are the questions people really want answers to. They are the questions people are usually asking. It makes it interesting. They can build off of the answers you give. Not sure how I missed that social cue, but wow does it make a difference!
"One of the most fundamental things about a good story is the change of a belief. You can use external objects to represent the change of those beliefs, but most of it happens on the inside."
- Amber Johnson
1 comment:
This is so true
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